The Power of Parenting: Part 4

Now for the final installment (or at least until I have more opinions to share on the matter). If you haven't already, you may want to check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 before reading this post.

Just to recap, I believe the greatest gift we can give our children is true knowledge and understanding of Jesus. That only comes as we first focus on our own relationship with God and allow the Holy Spirit to work through us. The next gift that will truly bless our children is a strong, Christ-centered relationship with our spouse. A child whose parents are committed to and supportive of one another has a real-life model of Christ’s love for the Church.

While there are infinite other gifts that we can and should be bestowing on our children, for the sake of wrapping up this “discussion” I am going to propose that the final gift in this series be to take seriously the Power of Parenting role, in spite of our weaknesses.

I’m not about to tackle the debate about appropriate disciplinary techniques here; all families and children are different and I do not think there is one cookie-cutter approach to address every scenario. That said, I do believe that there are at least five areas that we can all focus on, regardless of the age of our kiddos or our parenting styles:

• Set Boundaries. Kids need boundaries to feel secure. They need parents who will teach them right from wrong. They need encouraged for doing well and appropriate discipline when they push the limits. When they are young, they need to understand that their parents love them and at the same time, have been given a position of authority over them. God willing, when they are older the relationship will grow more and more to reflect deep respect and friendship.

• Consistently Follow-through & Honor Your Word. If you say yes or make a commitment, follow-through and honor your word. If you say no, stick to it (but don’t just say no to say no). Be consistent in your discipline practices; if you discipline your child for a certain behavior one time, don’t ignore the same behavior another time. If you ask your child to do something, don’t just give in if they don’t comply. Make sure they understand that there are consequences of not listening (they will certainly learn later in life that there are always consequences when we don’t listen to God!).

• Share Love & Grace Regularly. Shower your child regularly with words and actions that show love and grace. The words “I love you” should be frequently heard in our households. Let us not rob our children of love and security with our tempers, harsh voices, impatience or unkind words. Don't expect perfection (from them or from yourself!). Be willing to humble yourself in front of your child and say "I'm sorry" and "Will you forgive me?" when you've messed up. Forgive so you too will be forgiven.

• Enjoy Them Thoroughly. We should take joy in our children while they are young. Don’t wish that they’d grow up. They will…too soon. Don’t look back and regret that you didn’t take the opportunity to enjoy this time, regardless of the trials. Life and youth is fleeting, enjoy the time you have with your children…even with all the craziness, Play-Doh on the floor, sleepless nights, sibling spats, and tantrums!

• Pray. Pray. Pray. Just like we should be praying for our marriage relationships, it is critical that we spend time on our knees daily for our children. Pray first and foremost for their relationship with Christ. Pray for wisdom in parenting. Pray for your relationship with them. Pray for their future spouses and families. Pray for protection…pray, pray, pray!

I recognize that none of these are new ideas. No matter what parenting book you pick up, you are likely to see similar reminders throughout the pages. Unfortunately, we don’t always put into action what we know in our heads and hearts. I wish I could say that I’m always patient with our Little Miss or that I’m always thankful for the toys on the floor or the endless “why? why? why?” questions. Truth be told, while I hands-down love being a mom more than anything, there are certainly days where I’m moody, impatient and ungrateful. I like to think that the room for improvement means that there’s more opportunity for Jesus to work out His grace through me (and I certainly give Him ample opportunity!).

As Jesus reminded Paul in his struggles, “…My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul then chose to “boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”(2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

God’s grace covers all of our weaknesses. Every. Last. One. When you are feeling weak or lacking as you relate with your children this week, take a moment to thank God for the trial and His ability to work in spite of yourself.